10 Benefits Of Sex In Marriage + Ideal Frequency

Sex In Marriage

Satisfactory sexual relations with your partner can contribute to your life in more ways than you can imagine. From having positive implications on your relationship to having a number of health benefits, sex is more than just a titillating activity to indulge in with your significant other. To know more about the benefits of sex in marriage, and how often happy couples revel in lovemaking, keep scrolling. 

Sex In Marriage Importance

#1 It Keeps The Spark Alive

Communication, feeling loved, appreciation for your relationship are some of the key elements that keep the spark alive through the years of your marital life. But often when physical intimacy disappears, so do these other factors. Sex is an important facet to keep the spark alive in your relationship. And it’s also a precursor to boost a dotingly affectionate bond and hence, smooth communication. Often, sexual desire fades in a marriage when commitment and comfort increase. That’s okay. You just have to make an effort to keep those passionate desires up & running by making time for each other, trying new things, openly expressing your discomfort, and when nothing works, see a sex therapist. 

#2 It Boosts Emotional Connection

There’s a reason why makeup sex just solves everything, magically. After you’ve had a fight, stress hormones spike and the body craves feel-good hormones dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins – which are released in plenty when you have sex in marriage. These decrease feelings of irritability and depressive behaviors. Oxytocin – also dubbed as the love or cuddle hormone – is the key chemical to build bonds with other human beings. After your lovemaking session, you’ll automatically calm down and feel a doting love for your other half. This fosters deeper communication and a strong emotional connection. 

#3 Reduces Stress 

We’re all instinctively aware that quality sex with our partner makes for a great stress salve. Thanks to all the happy hormones that are released as the result of physical intimacy. But sex doesn’t just boost your mood right afterward: research work suggests that the optimistic state of mind lingers on. In a 2006 study, it was found that women felt less stressed and in high spirits the day after they had satisfactory intercourse. The same results weren’t true for orgasms without a partner. In addition, a Scottish research work concluded that individuals who had penetrative intercourse had less of a blood pressure rise during stressful events. This basically means you’ve got a much serene response to regular life stressors, let’s say being stuck in traffic or dealing with a negative coworker. Another experiment along the same lines proved “positive physical contact” with a partner decreases cortisol levels much better than just emotional support. So, a hug does make things better.  

#4 Increases The Level Of Commitment

Initially, the love and excitement in a relationship hold the two people together, but eventually, the thrill wanes away and mutual effort is needed to keep the partnership alive and fulfilling for both parties. That’s why experts emphasize the need for maintenance sex. It basically means having a lovemaking session even when you aren’t particularly feeling randy. Surely, it doesn’t have to happen every time, but scheduling at least a week for quality time in bed is necessary. Having a healthy sex life also means a better emotional bond and good communication, which ultimately means neither party will look for those things outside of the relationship. There are no distractions and you can stay more focused and committed in your marriage. 

#5 Betters Self-Confidence

Confidence is sexy, and sex makes confidence sexier. Being physically intimate with your partner, complimenting them on their looks, and on their performance in bed is important for a relationship. It makes the other person feel wanted, physically. Therefore, passionate sex in marriage is an indicator that you are still attracted to each other and want each other. Marital sex boosts self-esteem, reduces insecurity, and elevates more positive perceptions about oneself. 

#6 Keeps You Happier Than Ever

Numerous studies have proven that couples who have sex are happiest, not just in their relationship but also in general life. In a 2014 study, married couples who had intercourse frequently reported higher marital quality, marital coherence, marital affection, and overall marital satisfaction. In another research work, it was proven that happiness elevated when both partners experienced orgasms. That being said, more sex didn’t amount to more happiness. An ideal frequency is once a week or 5 times a month. The studies find the relationship between sex & happiness as curvilinear, rather than linear. Apart from the frequency, research has also shown that when it comes to making love, it’s about quality rather than quantity – with people reporting better moods for 2 days straight after pleasurable sex. In another finding, it was concluded that emotional intimacy is the best predictor of sexual satisfaction in both genders, and makes both parties happier on their own and in the relationship when the bond goes beyond the physical act. 

#7 Helps Enhance Conversation Depth

Sexually active couples will tell you that the benefits of this intimate connection don’t just stop in the bedroom, it extends way out of it. Feeling your partner’s skin & breath so close to you forms a loving bond that’s hard to come from any other act. It brings backs that doting mindset. Most couples who’re intimate in the bedroom – and outside, like holding hands or giving each other kisses, feel emotionally connected and are able to have better conversations. If you are closer to them physically, you’re closer to them mentally. And vice-versa. Great sex really starts in the mind. Having an honest, in-depth conversation with your partner makes lovemaking enjoyable for both parties. 

#8 Good For Health

Besides boosting relationship quality and psychological benefits, sex has a ton of physical benefits. To start, sex compares to light-to-moderate exercise and can burn an average of 200 calories per half-an-hour. In other words, it’s better than a walk but less intensive than a jog. Women burn lesser calories than men, but the ones on the top often also have an upper hand in calorie burn. In addition to your weight-loss goals, sex also helps in improving cognitive abilities and can benefit in tasks related to memory and executive function. Being sexually active also improves your immune function; although how much it strengthens the immunity depends on age, hormones, and environmental impacts.

Regularly being physically intimate tones the muscles in the bladder, improving bladder control in both men & women. It also releases endorphins and helps to ease physical pain, like that of a headache or a muscle sprain. Lastly, intimacy can improve your blood pressure outstandingly. A balanced BP ensures a synchronized flow of oxygen & nutrients in the bloodstream. (The same effects aren’t true for masturbation.)

#9 Improved Sleep Quality

Sex helps in promoting sound sleep, and quality sleep boosts your sex drive. It’s a two-way street. Having sex releases hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and vasopressin – among many other feel-good chemicals that makes you feel so relaxed and at peace that sleep comes as a by-product on its own. Plus, having an orgasm releases a hormone called prolactin, a growth-sleep factor that produces REM sleep. If you’re suffering from insomnia? You know what to do. Build the mood and have SEX! 

#10 Sex Is A Celebration Of Your Love

Remember those times when you were just not in the mood, but did it anyway and felt so much better afterward. Sex is seldom about the animalistic instinct (the general portrayal) and more about celebrating the love you’ve found with your partner. Not only does it feel amazing, but it makes you feel more lively and elated. You can equate it to going to the gym: you don’t want to do it before, but then you suck it up and feel so much better eventually. Spending quality time with each other, like going on a date or cozying up to watch a movie, just betters the quality of intimate relations and we’d highly suggest making an effort to do this before jumping in the bed. It will pay off. Trust us!  

What’s the ideal frequency for sex in marriage?

Several studies have concluded that an ideal frequency of sex in marriage, especially those who enjoy marital satisfaction at the peak, is once a week. And while the frequency can vary from couple to couple and also on what stage of life they’re on (new parents, career changes, etc.), this frequency was associated with the most happiness in their partnership. Happy couples also give preference to quality over quantity and enjoy intimacy best when it leads to orgasms for both partners involved. 

How To Increase Intimacy

Identify Your Urges

Know Thyself. For each individual, what turns them on and what puts them “in the mood” can be different. It also vastly depends on gender. For males, the sensuality and erection stimuli often stem from visual/ sensory cues, whilst for women, it’s often some sort of deeper connection that arouses them. That’s why most porn watched by men are those that show women body parts, but those watched by women are the ones that form a backstory. Given their visual urges, it’s a no-brainer that men are attracted to women wearing red. And picking lingerie in the same color can help steam things up in the bedroom. Similarly, for women, a thoughtful conversation and talking about feelings can be the ideal foreplay. You can also try exploring what works for you as a couple. Maybe it’s just a little wine during dinner, feeding strawberries & chocolates in the bed, or going for a romantic date & laughing together. Alternatively, try something new together. 

Openly Communicate Your Needs

There’s an ebb & flow curve with sexual urges. Sometimes, your partner won’t be feeling the same desire as you are, and sometimes it would be the other way. In addition, you both could be going through a life phase – having a newborn, a difficult financial phase, or dealing with a tough emotional situation – that could throw off the sexual desire out the window. In these scenarios, openly communicating with your partner helps. They’re probably feeling the same way and this could bolster your emotional intimacy well. And that is a huge precursor to sexual satisfaction. A 2012 study proved that emotional intimacy leads to more arousals, orgasms, and better sex life satisfaction irrespective of gender. Raw, honest conversations automatically mirror what sex means. Give yourself permission to talk through it, and not so long after, you’ll be feeling a deep desire to be physically intimate with your partner. 

Plan A Date Night

Date nights aren’t just an amazing way to reconnect with your partner, but they also take you back to those early relationship feels, which experts believe can revive & reignite the passion in your marriage. Make taking quality time out for each other, at least once a month, a priority. Get a babysitter, leave your kids with the grandparents for a weekend away, meet for lunch despite your crazy work schedules, and spend a night in a romantic suite if nothing works. A 2016 research published in Marriage Foundation surveyed 10,000 couples in the UK and found those who scheduled date nights at least once a month had 14% fewer chances of splitting up than those who rarely went out. The research isolated factors like relationship stability, having a career and being older before concluding their study. It also concluded that the results only applied to married couples and not cohabiting couples with kids: and the weekly date nights didn’t seem to make any difference too. 

Date nights don’t really have to be only about dressing up and going to a restaurant for a meal. The term also figuratively comprises any shared activities that a couple will enjoy together. This could be a trek, dancing class, camping, couples massage, cooking – really anything that gives you both time & space with each other. However, the activity should interest both partners equally. A 2013 study in the Personal Relationships Journal stated that the dedicated interest in shared activities by both partners results in the activity being satisfying, stress-free, and fostering increased closeness between the two. This then determines relationship quality concurrently and longitudinally. 

Feel Sexy

Feeling sexy doesn’t have to do with wearing lingeries that peeks more than half your boobs or (for a man) wearing undies that tighten and make you sweat around the crotch. It’s more about dressing well, picking bright shades (like red) that brings energy into the room, or just doing your hair & makeup to the tee. Further, you also have to feel sensual on the inside. So, read a romance novel or talk dirty to your partner. There are different ways in which people can feel arousal – and it’s fun to talk about the same with your partner and try them as a build-up for sensuality before moving things to the bed. 

Make An Effort

Above all, it all comes down to making an effort. Don’t wait for your partner to initiate the sex or taking the lead to plan an intimate night together. Plan the surprises, catch him off guard by stealing a kiss, or just hold hands on the normal days. It doesn’t matter if all of these initiations lead to sex. In the long term, it will enhance your physical intimacy, and as a result, strengthen your relationship.


Why Do Married Couples Stop Having Sex?

After the honeymoon phase of a marriage recedes, so does the spark, excitement, and thrill from a relationship. Often, couples find themselves struggling to keep the connection alive. Life, responsibilities, and kids get in the way. And sex seems like a chore, rather than an exhilarating affair. Here are the top 5 reasons why married couples stop having sex:

  • Stress: Related to work, life, or relationship that can lower libido and a desire to be intimate. 
  • Kids: They take up a major chunk of the time & attention of parents which leads to less communication and reconnect time for the relationship. 
  • Anger & Resentment: Often there’s an “elephant in the room” scenario that hasn’t been solved. This just strains the emotional baggage further and causes grudges, hostility, and blame.
  • Past Relationships: Research suggests fewer sex partners lead to better marital sex life. “A sense of missing out” can affect the physical intimacy in a long-term relationship. 
  • Emotional Withdrawal: When one or the other person withdraws emotionally & mentally from a relationship, it becomes difficult for the couple to make any progress sexually. 
Find Help: 25 Ways To Fix A Sexless Marriage

Shockingly, 15% to 30% of marriages are sexless. If you’re in one too or just curious on how to not head down that road – visit a couple’s therapist at the first sign of trouble. Often, no-sex marriage implies there’s a root cause that needs to be fixed. A counselor can bring these causations to the surface so you can solve them and form a happy, healthy marital bond. 

Can A Marriage Survive Without Sex?

Yes, a sexless marriage can work if both partners are okay with the intimacy and closeness without the sex. Sometimes, one partner isn’t okay with the frequency and the other one feels completely content. FYI, a sexless marriage isn’t always defined as no sex at all but also when there’s a decreased frequency of sexual relations, like once a month or less. In cases when both partners are on different pages, the marriage needs help from a therapist or either partner can choose to end the relationship. 

How Important Is Sex To A Man In A Relationship?

Contrary to the popular belief, men just don’t see sex as a craving, but as a road to mutual satisfaction, improve as a lover, and connect with their other half. Yes, men are wired to feel attracted to women before they feel the love, but in the long term, they see sex as a way to keep the relationship alive and thriving. You can say it accounts for 15% to 20% of the relationship and the rest is all about love, communication, and respect. Sexual bliss is a great booster to any relationship. In addition, men also equate compliments of their performance in bed to self-worth. So, share positive affirmation during and after sex to let him know that you love and deeply care for him. 

How Important Is Sex To A Woman In A Relationship?

In a marriage, sex matters as much to a woman as a man. The myth says women’s sexual urges are lower than a man’s when the truth is they are just more variable. Following the biological cycle, the woman will feel a very strong sexual urge during the week of ovulation, often more than a man. But during the PMS and period week, their sexual urges decrease. Nonetheless, sex in a healthy relationship is important for them to connect with their partner. The emotional understanding, which forms the basis for a woman in a relationship, also deepens with frequent sexual relations. Sex is a natural outcome of feeling close to our partner, in every way, and women love that!

Marriage Secrets From Couples Together 20 Years Or More
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