The brother-of-the-bride works harder than anyone at her sister’s wedding. Countless memes and numerous tales testify to the same. But some of their duties are outlined clearly and just so they don’t miss out on any of them, we have included 15 brother-of-the-bride duties below:
#1 Driving Her For Wedding Errands
With so many errands before the wedding day, the bride will need someone to chauffeur around and help her with the shopping. While not all of the errands and the driving responsibility falls on you, it’s nice to take charge at times and help her with the purchases. Our advice – make it count where it matters. She will need support and guidance for the most important of wedding purchases like lehenga, jewelery, and wedding cards or venue arrangements. For the menial tasks like salon visits, makeup shopping, trousseau packing, etc. she can handle it by herself. But it’s always nice to ask and let her know that you are always there to help.
#2 Take Care Of The Parents
The parents are going through a tough time – emotionally. They are marrying their daughter – a moment they both waited for and dreaded since childhood. You know them better than anyone else. You know the mix of emotions they are feeling – and above that, you know how to make them feel better. Parents also tend to control and not show their emotions. During times like these, don’t force them to talk or vent it out. Instead, take over some of their responsibilities and have a conversation that puts them in a better mood. Overall, you just need to ensure they are also having fun and not getting emotionally lost in the process of marrying their daughter.
#3 Handle Communication Between Both Sides Of The Families
With the rise in inter-faith and love marriages in India, the baby boomer generation of parents often faces a bridge of communication gap. You can help sort out some of these problems and mitigate the situations by speaking to your parents and of course, your sister and brother-in-law to know what’s happening so you can diffuse any tension and create a comfortable bond between the families. The tiff will mostly be regarding a ritual, event, or exchange formalities, and helping with compromises on both sides can help in tackling the situation and make the wedding planning process easier.
#4 Planning Bride’s Entry
The most common bridal entries at the moment are phoolon ki chaadar with her brothers and walking solo to her groom. No matter what she is opting for, it’s important that you plan the entry with her and it’s even more important that it’s executed properly. The bridal entry is her moment and it matters a lot that it happens just like she has envisioned. Speak to the planner and the musician beforehand so everyone’s on the same page. You might have set a wedding timeline, but things will get delayed on the main day. Coordinate with all the important people before the entrance so your sister can live her fairytale moment in reality.
#5 Having A Point Of Contact For All Vendors On The Phone
Have a point of contact for the most important vendors of the wedding. Some might be booked by the bride herself, like the makeup artist or the photographer, but she won’t be able to coordinate with them on the day. During the wedding, you must make sure they have arrived on time and are escorted to their location so the services start when they’re supposed to! If you are delegating the tasks, hand over the numbers to all those who are handling the tasks on the ground. A WhatsApp group is the best way to keep all this information in place. Secure the number of these vendors before the wedding: photographer, wedding planner, decorator, hotel manager, venue coordinator, decorator, makeup artist, and transporter.
#6 Organize Backup Arrangements
No one wants to think about the unforeseen circumstances which can ruin the agreed-upon arrangements, but they happen. Some of the most common are bad weather, a vendor backing out, or there’s a health emergency. For the first one, you will have to speak to the venue coordinator and see what plans they have for unstable weather conditions. The second can be handled by asking the vendor themselves to arrange for a backup! And lastly, have a medical emergency kit on-site so if anyone falls sick, then you have a medicine to hand over to them. Dig in any other backup plans as per your wedding planning arrangements with the coordinator.
#7 Be An Emotional Support
It’s an emotional time for the bride. She is excited and nervous at the same time, and you will never know which one she will experience when. As the brother-of-the-bride, you will want to make her feel calm when she is nervous or anxious, and participate in the excitement by enjoying & celebrating this time with your sister! We know it can take a toll on you to handle the emotions of both the bride & your parents, but this is also the time when you have to be at your strongest and be that light for the family. Further, understand if there are any triggers to the emotions (like a song being played or anyone talking about a sentinel subject) and take the attention away whenever they arise.
#8 Gather Inspiration For Portraits
Your sister might have already saved the portraits with the family in her mood board, but we suggest you have some on your phone too. She can forget to send them to the photographer or might not find her phone when she has to show the reference images. In the rushed scenario that is weddings, having everything on hand helps. Save some brother-of-the-bride shots and keep them on a WhatsApp group, email, or Pinterest board to show them to the photographer. Also, we know you’re in a rushed mode, but take out just 5 to 10 minutes to get these portraits clicked with your sister. You will appreciate the time and cherish these sealed memories forever.
#9 Manage Guest Interaction
As the bride’s brother and an important member of the family hosting the function, the responsibility to entertain the guests and make sure everyone’s attended falls on you. Again, you don’t have to do everything yourself, you can have a team who would do the small tasks that would make the relatives happy. It can be as simple as getting a toiletry item they need. Know that in the process, you can’t please everyone. There will be times when people just won’t understand the pressure and will get flustered for the tiniest of things. You can move away from such situations and instead focus on what’s important at the moment.
#10 Be An Emcee When Needed
The bride’s brother should also have the quality to turn into an Emcee when needed. This doesn’t just include the fun parts of anchoring, but also when important announcements have to be made. For instance, lunch will only be served till 2 on the premises and many guests still haven’t had the time to have it, here’s where you will step in and ask them to eat their lunch on time. Similarly, if you see the vibe of a gathering falling, during any ritual, you can take up your role as an Emcee and organize fun games or a dance party!
#11 Oversee Task Delegation
Indian weddings are extensive. There are multiple events, a long guest list, and a myriad of rituals in place that can make it tough to handle without a team. It’s obvious that there’s a team of elders, cousins, friends, etc. who you & the bride have trusted to handle some of these tasks, but sometimes they can slack on their duties. Here, you will have to step up and check with them if they’re doing the tasks assigned and whether they will be able to fulfill their part of the responsibility on time! If the answer is no, you will have to take those duties on you and either do them yourself or delegate it to someone else.
Brother-of-the-Bride Duties On Wedding Day
#12 Keep Everything Moving
While there’s a planner or coordinator who takes the helm for everything happening at the right time and in the right way, there has to be someone who oversees these arrangements. Someone who knows what was decided and has the image references, and can check if things are moving rightfully. Enters the brother of the bride who can look after the preparations! If you are unaware of anything, check with the bride before the wedding revelries start so you have a good idea of what the couple wants and she is happy as a clam when she enters the venue!
#13 Make Sure The Bride Remembers To Eat
As the brother-of-the-bride, you should check in to see if she has eaten something periodically. While she may be running high on emotions – ecstasy, anxiety, excitement, all mixed in one! – it’s imperative that she has something filling and nutritious so she has the energy to live this day to the fullest without the chances of bloating. Pack some snacks and give them to one of her bridesmaids who can give them to her when she asks. Protein bars, chikki, roasted foxnuts, etc. all work. You can also ask the hotel authorities to check on the bridal suite and see if the bride needs anything to nibble on! Besides eating, you should also see if the bride is well-hydrated. Keep a water bottle in her wedding bag and ask any of your sisters or her friends to give her a sip from time to time.
#14 Have Fun
Your sister won’t be the happiest unless she sees you enjoying and having fun throughout all the events. Though it’s a tough time – both physically and emotionally – it’s important to celebrate in the process. Sometimes, the brother-of-the-bride also has to take charge and gather everybody for a dance or a cheery banter. During all the rush, just remember to have fun and lose yourself in the process instead of getting lost in the spiral. If you’re enjoying yourself, there are huge chances that your parents, siblings, and any other close members of the family will also rub off on your energy and will have a great time.
#15 Help In Winding Off
After the wedding day is over, someone has to take charge of the winding off responsibilities. This entails things as simple as gathering the bride’s luggage before her vidaai to handing vendors who are waiting for their payment and managing guests who are all ready to check out & leave. These tasks don’t have to be all done by you, but they do need to be handled. Delegate the duties that you don’t have to necessarily do yourself. Your cousins, friends, and elders who you can trust can all manage these tasks as well.
