A marriage is a blissful journey with your soulmate – true, but it also requires work. Ask anyone you perceive as #relationshipgoals, and they’ll reiterate the same. Although that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun and exciting. Life is full of ups and downs, and your relationship will be tested through those trying times.
So, how can you and your partner strengthen and maintain your bond throughout? Well, there’s no one straightforward answer to that question. However, there are several practices to employ in your relationship to get you through thick and thin. Here are the top 7 secrets to a happy marriage, as also outlined by researchers and experts worldwide.
1. Communication is Key
Talking and communicating often with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage happy and healthy. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, convey what you’re feeling with empathy. An important part of good communication is also listening; wait for them to finish what they’re saying, understand and then, answer.
Be honest, always. It’s okay if you have messed up. It’s life, and your partner will appreciate the honesty more than the lie you seemingly told to protect them. Communication can solve almost anything and everything, even if it’s not in your favor. Also, if your partner is someone who struggles to open up, it’s important to give them the space to let their feelings out quite often.
“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It’s when the imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer
2. Maintain Your Individuality
Don’t make your marriage a two person cocoon from where you expect to get all support, happiness, and intimacy from. That’s not realistic or healthy. Knowing who you’re as a person and making time out to fulfill those needs is crucial to your marriage. The statement ‘you complete me’ should signify having a relationship where you complement each other, and not overly dependent on your partner.
Couples in happy relationships are whole, secure, and respect the other person’s boundaries. The best way to keep ‘you’ alive is to plan some alone time. Do whatever enriches you and be the driving source of your own happiness – instead of expecting your spouse to fill the void.
3. Have Fun Together
The ability to have fun together is what will help you get through the hard times – and be grateful always. Couples need to indulge in activities where they can have fun together. Something that will bring the rush of early relationship butterflies into the marriage as well. Inject a new fun activity into your routine together. This can be anything from going on a trek, joining cooking classes, or tennis lessons.
Happy couples always share a zest of life which they are keen to share with their partner. Whether it’s something as simple as practicing a meditation exercise daily or a dedication to having a family, these experiences enrich the relationship.
4. Appreciate Your Spouse
A small appreciation every day can go a long way! When you’re with someone all the time, it’s easy to fall back on the gratitude for their presence, and take them for granted. We all need to feel appreciated and assured from time to time. And it feels amazing when it comes from someone who means the world to us.
It can be easy to do. Just compliment them on something they did for you, or the family or a little remark on what you like about them. For instance, if they made coffee for you in the morning, instead of gulping it down and going on with your day, tell them, “thank you so much sweetheart, you put a smile on my face this morning.” It’s that easy.
5. Have A Common Vision For Future
Building on the same future goals is important to a successful marriage. Envisioning a common future with your spouse, and letting them know where your growth is headed helps your goals merge with theirs. Some aspects to talk about are career, children, spirituality, and financial matters.
“The secrets to a long-lasting relationship; two people working, standing, wanting, being together, and seeing the future together”
6. But, Expect & Accept Change
It’s inevitable that a person will change as they go through life. You’re quite different from the person you were 5 years ago, and so was your spouse. Experiences and situations in life can shape personalities along the way, even when the change is subtle. It’s crucial to be accepting those differences in your partner.
In successful marriages, each person supports the other in becoming the best version of themselves and is what makes them the happiest. So, bend, flex, and pivot with each other as life goes on. Until death do you part.
7. Have More Sex
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But over the course of the marriage, and life taking over, the desire to be intimate can lessen. Having regular sex has been associated with a key ingredient to a happy marriage, a 2017 study outlined. The research states that sex produces a period of afterglow, or sexual satisfaction, which enhances the bonds of marriage and results in better relationship satisfaction in the long term.
Apart from what science says though, an effort to have an intimate time together can lead to a patient, content married life. Plan regular dates, spice things up in the bedroom, and take a vacation to stay connected. There’s no optimum amount of sex you should be having. Set your own pace.
What Years Of Marriage Are The Hardest?
Relationship experts predict there are two particularly hard years of marriage for couples – the first year and the seventh one. In the first year of marriage, couples are becoming used to someone being in their space all the time. Plus, they’re figuring out shared expenses, careers, family planning, and coming to touch with the realities of married life. However, this was expected and most couples don’t head to separation in this year, it’s the seventh one that’s infamous for it.
As per stats, an average marriage that ends in divorce lasts for around 7 years. This is the time when most couples fall out of love, cheat, or just want to leave. By around 7 years, kids are still small which can create problems around shared responsibilities. Next to that, many are unwilling to work out things and instead, feel better to let a relationship head towards splitsville.
What Are The Signs Of A Happy Marriage?
Some of the signs of a happy marriage are a strong commitment, the same core values, sexual faithfulness, regular honest communication, and feeling emotionally safe. If you’re curious to know the health of a marriage, checking off these 6 signs can help. Although know that ‘happy’ doesn’t always mean rosy and blissful, you’ll go through rough patches as a couple and that’s when these above-mentioned signs will matter the most.
What Does A Good Marriage Look Like?
When you’re in the presence of love and a committed relationship, you can feel it. A good marriage is where you feel content, happy, and satisfied with your partner. It’s when you feel being with them connects you to the purpose of your life and makes ‘life’ worth it. That’s not to say, couples in good marriages don’t argue. But even if they do, those are respectful, kind arguments where the ‘us’ takes priority over ‘me’, and forgiveness doesn’t take long.
What Are The Most Important Things In A Healthy Marriage?
In a marriage, you’d need things more than ‘love’ to keep you together through the blissful adventure. Those are trust, commitment, honesty, compromise, personal growth, and communication. These small things can take you a long way and transform you into the couples hashtagged as #relationshipgoals.